Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Documenting the Robocalypse (Alternatively: I F***ing Told You So)

Fear not mere mortals. 
The signs are everywhere.  It is coming faster now.  Faster everyday.  Are you prepared?

Yep.  It's the coming Robotcalypse.  The Zombie Infestation will follow soon after, so first things first.  Do you have a giant working Dalek or Cybermen replica standing by to hide out in?
Look, I'm not just going to survive the uprising, I am going to bamf out when it comes by using one of the two most feared and hated critters in the galaxy.
I know some of my counterparts and I differ on this subject.  The Geekologie Writer (GW) plans on blowing them to smithereens.  While I respect that, (no I don't) I rapidly calculated the relative number of weaknesses.

Robot Weakness:  Power, recursive logic.
Human Weakness: Food, water, oxygen, sharp things, heavy things, scary things, loved ones... pretty much all daily items can be lethal [Source: 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself].

Yeah....  I'll work on sabotage through the ranks from inside a nice metal box to save the rest of humanity.

The Army:

Report: Autonomous robots that randomly dock with each other on the ground and then rise into the air– no human intervention required.  Magnetic coupling allows the bots to easily break away from each other (example: from an attack) and then reassemble themselves on the ground.

Potential: Attack drones.  Crowd Control.  Massive-scale tear-gas application.
Combat: Rough terrain, fire
Fear Level: Low.  Look, they seem to move pretty slow and seem to need smooth terrain.  I think drunk potshots at them with a BB gun should do sufficient damage.

Report: Autonomous Quadrotor Drone demonstrates the ability for quiet, rapid, aggressive maneuvers through narrow openings and precise landing capabilities.

Potential: Scouting and tracking, capable of being equipped with lethal injection and/or splasers for low profile assassinations/crowd control.

Combat: Flyswatter, tennis racket, closed windows.
Fear Level: Medium

Updates as our doom marches towards us....